I just deleted/destroyed almost every single illustration I originally created for the 3rd year final major project-Frostfeld book. And truth be told a lot of it was bloody atrocious. Did I really believe I could blag my way into getting a degree? Did I genuinely believe I could create anything NEAR to what I was capable of without doing the work?
Everything I created for that final year demonstrated a complete inability to recognise my shortcoming or work to overcome them. I genuinely believed that I could polish a turd and get away with it.
Where as, if I had actually done the work and created something smaller that I could actually complete instead to consistently creating ambitious projects that were WAY beyond my ability to complete.....well.....I would be in differently place now and I certainly wouldn't be writing this harsh critique of my shortcomings.
Every failure I have encountered has been due one of more of the following four factors:
1. Fear of failure/looking stupid
2. Not doing the heavy work nessecary to accomplish my goals.
3. Creating extremely ambitious goals for myself without realising that my ambition out strips my ability.
4. All of the above.
Not anymore. The 350+ page manuscript currently sitting in a brown envelope in my chest of drawers is proof positve of what happens when you sit your fucking ass down and DO THE THRICE DAMNED WORK
Whole new ballgame. Completely different approach. No blagging. No shortcuts. No easy routes. No lazyness. No excuses. Just HARD bloody GRAFT.
Watch this space. Wish me luck.
Tomorrow, the hardwork begins in earnest.